Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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