Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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