doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
