ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
