he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
