Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
