I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
