Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
