Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
