She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
