We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
