just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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