i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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