I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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