I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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