I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
