i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
