areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
