Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
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