The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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