I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
