exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
