so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you win again, gameday.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
