I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
