so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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