I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
