i just identified you from a description of your pipe
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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