i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
