im gay
i know
yea but for you.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
