Hey man sorry I got all grabby
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
