My cat gives me a boner
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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