I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
