he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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