It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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