k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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