i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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