Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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