I bet he comes in French.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
