I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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