Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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