Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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