Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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