Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
