he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
