It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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