Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
