Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
