We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
