I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
