no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
