love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
