I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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