I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
