that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
not ubering you a puppy
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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